A Better Christmas For Everyone.

This Christmas I have decided that all of the gifts I'm giving are going to serve a double purpose. Yes, I want the people who receive them to like and enjoy them, but I want others to benefit from them as well. This year I have decided to support 4 different organizations through purchasing items from them. The organizations I have chosen are: TOMS Shoes, To Write Love On Her Arms, Overlooked, and Invisible Children All 4 of these organizations stand for things I believe in. And proceeds from every purchase made go to causes I believe in.

TOMS Shoes was started by Blake Mycoskie in 2006. The name might sound fimiliar as he came in 3rd place on the second season of the TV show "The Amazing Race." While vacationing in South America in 2006, Blake discovered the Alpargata, a traditional rope-soled shoe that has been worn by Argentina farmers for the last 100 years. At the same time, Blake was struck by the terrible poverty that he saw: too poor to afford shoes, children developed cuts and scrapes on their feet that led to serious infections, like Podoconiosis (or podo, for short). Blake returned to Los Angeles with 200 pairs of shoes in his duffel bag and the idea for a new company, TOMS Shoes. TOMS Shoes was founded on a simple premise: With every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need. It is that simple. So this christmas I encourage you to CHOOSE SHOES.



To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. TWLOHA was started by Jamie Tworkowski and a few friends in efforts to rescue a 19 year old girl named Renee from self-mutilation, drug abuse, and a life that was going downhill very fast. (To read Renee's story click here.) Jamie and his friends created t-shirts to help pay for her treatment and created a myspace page to give the story a home. The members of the bands Anberlin and Switchfoot were amongst the first the ever wear the shirts. Now bands like Paramore, Underoath, Mat Kearny, Copeland, The Rocket Summer and more support TWLOHA. Before long the page exploded with people wanted to know how to help their friends and share their stories as well. From there TWLOHA took off and has not stopped since. Jamie has brought the conversation out of myspace to concerts, universities, festivals and churches around the world. (For you Centralites reading, you might remember Jamie speaking here at Central about a year ago.) The proceeds from everything purchased goes towarsd to organizations that TWLOHA financially supports: Teen Challege, Hopeline, Mercy Ministries, the efforts to stop Human Trafficking and Sex Trade in India, KidsHope in Australia which they support monthly and many other organizations as well. In 2008 TWLOHA donated over $250,000 to causes just like the ones listed above.



Overlooked was started because one person wanted to make a difference and decided to act on it. Overlooked offers easy, practical ways to help people that have been overlooked and make the world a better place. By buying merchandise it allows Overlooked to provide children in Africa with mosquito nets and clean water. You allow them to free young girls in India from sexual slavery. You allow them to loan money to women in poverty to start new businesses for a chance to support their own families. The goal Overlooked is to expose you to the problems in the world around you and offer you simple ways to make a difference. To introduce you to different issues and the organizations that address them. They sell t-shirts and other merchandise that address different issues. When you purchase one of the shirts you are participating in informing others of the issue as well as actively supporting organizations that are making a difference. In addition to the shirts they will give you information on how to dig deeper into the issue if you choose. Maybe you will find one that you are especially passionate about and want to get more involved. Overlooked supports many causes in one place. They work to end hunger, homelessness, sex trafficking, malaria and to provide clean water and KIVA loans. Besides t-shirts and accessories they sell fair trade items made by the people they support. They have jewelry hand made by survivors of the sex slave industry in Nepal, christmas ornaments made by struggling artisans in Ecuador, necklaces made by entrepreneurs in Uganda who simply lack the infrastructure, funding and/or exposure and the proceeds provide a consistent income.
To view their causes click here.

Invisible Children uses the power of media to inspire young people to help end the longest running war in Africa. The war in northern Uganda has been called the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world today. For the past 23 years, the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and the Government of Uganda (GoU) have been waging a war that has left nearly two million innocent civilians caught in the middle. The GoU's attempt to protect its citizens from this rebel militia has largely failed, resulting in an entire generation of youth that has never known peace. (to read the history of the war click here. It is estimated that more than 90% of the LRA’s troops were abducted as children. Invisible Children's goal is to raise awareness and encourage the US Government to take action. In recent years more and more international attention has been focused on this crisis. In 2001, the US Patriot Act officially declared the LRA to be a terrorist organization. In 2004, Congress passed the Northern Uganda Crisis Response Act, the first piece of American legislation to address this disaster. And in 2005, the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued arrest warrants for Joseph Kony and four of his top commanders. As the motives of the LRA become more ambiguous and their crimes more horrific, Invisible Children remains committed to seeking sustainable solutions to foster an environment that encourages peace. We are supporting and equipping a generation ravaged by war so that they can finally know peace. Invisible Children addresses the need for access to education and economic development through innovative programs on the ground. Proceeds from everything that is purchased goes to supporting these programs.



Is there a cause out there that you support? Are you looking to make a difference in the world? If so, maybe you'll join me this year in making it a better Christmas for everyone.

Exploding.

At Central we have something called a Connection Card that everyone fills out when they attend one of our 9 services on the weekend. This connection card just lets us know you were here and also has a "next steps" section. In the "next steps" section you can select what your, yup you guess it, next steps would be. Whether thats attending Central's membership class, want to be baptized, or want to serve somewhere. Whenever someone writes anything on their card about Global Outreach the card comes straight to me to handle it in the appropriate way. Today I received one from this past weekend that had alot of writing on it. This person was totally interested in everything possible. On the very bottom of the card there is a section that says: Share about your experience at Central. This is what this person wrote:

"your Church explodes with the love of Christ."

I love it. Isn't that exactly what the goal of a Church is? To EXPLODE with God's love? Isn't that exactly what the goal of us that call ourselves Christians is? One day I hope that someone can say that I explode with God's love.

Love....

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

-St. Augustine

Streetlight Pheonix

So often I get caught up in my love and awareness for the nations that I forget about the needs of my own city. Working for Global and Local outreach has heightened my sense of awareness for the needs of others more than I could have ever expected. Even though I work with Local Outreach as well and get to hear about all the AMAZING ways that we are serving the community I can't say that it encourages me to take action personally, which I am totally embarassed to admit, but it's true. Last year I organized a group of college kids to participate in the Hike for the Homeless that benefitted St. Joseph the worker that helped people who are homeless get jobs but still, I can't say that serving the community is on my mind daily like serving the nations is.

Anyways, I talk alot about the awesome things that Central is doing to serve both the community and world and this is another great thing I'd like to share.

Every year Central chooses an organization to help by donating our Christmas Eve service offering to. Last year we helped with the AIDS crisis and getting clean water in Africa.

This year Central has chosen a cause a little closer to home; Streetlight Phx.

Streetlight Phx was created to help stop child prostitution in Phoenix. Phoenix is now the #1 city in the nation for Sex Trafficking, including Child Prostitution, more accurately described as Child Rape for Profit. On any given night there are 300 children, average age 13, forced to prostitute themselves for the benefit of their “owners.” Between 100,000 and 300,000 children in America are at risk for sex trafficking each year. As many as 2.8 million children live on the streets, a third of whom are lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home. The majority of American victims of commercial sexual exploitation tend to be runaway or thrown away youth who live on the streets who become victims of prostitution. These children generally come from homes where they have been abused, or from families that have abandoned them. A Fundraising Campaign involving as many as 25 churches (Central being one of them) is underway to purchase a secured facility to care and house rescued teens form the sex trade. This group of churches is charging forward to do their part in ending the rape of children for profit in Phoenix and surrounding cities. Six large residential homes will house up to 40 girls. This house will be where the girls first go after they are taken off the streets. This house will be a safe place for them to heal and be restored.


Christmas is still a couple months off but there is plenty to do right not. Whether you can 5 minutes or 5 hours, you can take action against child prostitution right now. What are you going to do about it?


For more information on Project Streetlight Phx please visit: http://www.streetlightphx.com/.

Turn It Off

I scraped my knees while i was praying
and found a demon in my safest haven
seems like its getting harder to believe in anything
and just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts

I wanna know what it’d be like
to find perfection in my pride
to see nothing in the light
but turn it off in all my spite,
in all my spite i’ll turn it off

and the worst part is before it gets any better
we’re headed for a cliff
and in the freefall i will realize i'm better off when I hit the bottom

tragedy it seems unending
im watching everyone i looked up to break and bending
we’re taking short cuts and false illusions just to cut out the hero

well i can see behind the curtain
the wheels are creaking,
turning its all wrong the way we’re working
towards a goal thats nonexistent,
it’s nonexistent but we just keep believing

and the worst part is before it gets any better
we’re headed for a cliff
and in the freefall i will realize i'm better off when I hit the bottom

i wanna know what it’d be like
to find perfection in my pride
to see nothing in the light but turn it off in all my spite, in all my spite i’ll turn it off
just turn it off again

and the worst part is before it gets any better we’re headed for a cliffand in the freefall i will realize i'm better off when I hit the bottom
and the worst part is before it gets any better we’re headed for a cliffand in the freefall i will realize i'm better off when I hit the bottom

-Paramore

(Don't) Marry Me.

I love dating.
I just wanted to put that out there.

I love going home to my own bed at night. I love having my boyfriend come pick me up from my own house. I love having my own bank account. I love getting ready for the day by myself. I love being able to do pretty much anything I want on my own time schedule. I love having a "boyfriend." I love having awkward moments. I love getting excited when I hear my boyfriend's ringtone. I love not having to be an adult. I love having my parents pay my cell phone bill. I love going on dates. I love trying to look cute when I know I'm going to see my boyfriend. I love counting the silly anniversaries (10 months, 20 days, 21 hours, 30 minutes since our first date :] ) I love not taking things so seriously. I love when my boyfriend surprises me with a diet coke or flowers or penguins. I really love just dating.

With everyone around us getting engaged or married or having babies it has really opened my eyes to the fact that I don't want that. Of course, no offense to those of you that are engaged, married or having babies. But I am 100% content with just dating Joe. He makes dating so much fun. And yes, one day I would like to marry him but not for a VERY long time. I always thought I wanted to get married young and granted I will still be young in the next 3 years, but now that I am at this point in my life I could really care less. With how many people have gotten engaged recently it just seems to me like it's not special anymore. To me it's like "another one bites the dust..." haha, just kidding. But I'm not so surprised when I hear people are engaged anymore.

I've always kind of been a critic of love and marriage so this isn't a surprise to me. I had a really hard time believing in love before I met Joe. And then after the first 6 months of our relationship I didn't think things could have gotten much better, we were still in that "honeymoon" stage where everything seems perfect and you are so blinded by your emotions that nothing makes logical sense any more and you act primarily off of your feelings. Now that Joe and I are nearing a year together I can finally see how dangerous that is. How much of it is love and how much of it is infatuation? I can honestly say in my relationship the first 6 months were infatuation. Luckily we made it out alive and after many fights and arguments our blinders finally fell off as we began to grow into love. My favorite thing about dating is that I learn something new about Joe every day. Whether it's a silly thing from his past or that he likes ketchup on scrambled eggs(gross.) And it's taken me almost a year to learn the few things I know about him.

I just don't see the hurry in getting married anytime soon. (I'm sure my parents are grateful for that!) I am so content just dating him. With everything going on lately it has really helped me be grateful for the times that we have together and realize that I have a great BOYFRIEND. Not fiancee, not husband, not baby-daddy. BOYFRIEND, or as i sometimes call him, my manfriend:)

How He Loves.

Amongst the many, many things I love about Third Format, one of the biggest ones is the worship. And no, its not because my boyfriend is the amazingly hot and talented drummer ;) But because I feel like they are always on the cutting edge of worship music. Jared, Richard and Jason do a great job of finding new worship songs that are just amazing. I also love when they do special songs like turning a secular song into an amazing connection to the message. (Examples; You Found Me by The Fray, If It Means Alot To You by A Day to Remember, The Places You've Come to Fear the Most by Dashboard Confessional, We Are Broken by Paramore and more.)
Anyways, this past weekend we sang a song called How He Loves written by John Mark McMillan. We've sang it once or twice before and everytime I'm like "Yes! I love this song!" This song just has a way of making you think of God's love differently. In ways I know I have never thought of before.
Some of my favorite lines are "Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy," "If His grace is an ocean we’re all sinking" "And heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss"
I just love the way he draws a picture of the vastness and intensity of God's love for us really is. It's humbling to know that the creator of the whole entire universe loves me with that immensity.

The lyrics are:

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane,
I am a tree Bending beneath the weight
Of His wind and mercy
All of a sudden I am unaware of
These afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so
Yeah He loves us

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
And heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets When I think about the way

That He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves.

Global Outreach Global News.

Central Christian Church Global Outreach Global News of the Week

To receive the weekly Global Outreach Newsletter featuring current news, speakers, events, and opportunities, e-mail Neil H. at neilh@cccev.com.

Aid Group Says Abuse Of Child 'Witches' On Rise- (CNN) Superstition and suspicion have led to increasing abuse among Nigeria's children. Children who are unruly, stubborn or have learning disabilities and physical ailments are most likely to be singled out. "Children accused of witchcraft are often incarcerated in churches for weeks on end and beaten, starved and tortured in order to extract a confession," said Gary Foxcroft, program director of Stepping Stones Nigeria, a nonprofit that helps alleged witch children in the region. About 15,000 children in the Akwa Ibon and Cross River states have been branded as witches, he said, and most of them are forced out on the street and abused. Sometimes even Nigeria's pastors are responsible for the abuse, identifying children who they say are possessed. The problem is growing worldwide, even in places like Nepal.

To read the whole story, click here.

To see more Global News, visit the CCCEV Global Outreach page.

Beauty Still Remains

Be happy for this moment...this moment is your life.

I don't know why but quotes always smack me like right in the face when I need them to. I've always been a huge fan of quotes, not sure why. Maybe its because i'm just not smart enough to come up with smart things to say or what, but they affect me so much.

Anyways, this post is not about quotes. It's about happiness and life and love and friends and smiling and taking advantage of every second because you will never get it back.

Lately I have been in a rut. If you asked me why I could probably list 10 things that are going wrong right now. But if you asked me what was going right right now I could probably list 1000. And thats what I should be focusing on.

I often take days just like today for granted. Always looking forward to something or being in a crappy mood or something, instead of focusing on the beautiful things in life. Today I woke up and decided that I am in charge of my happiness, not my circumstances. Why don't I wake up like that every day? Yes, we can have bad days but I think at the end of the day there should always be at least one thing that made you smile or give you a moment of happiness amongst the crappiness.

If there is ANYTHING I have learned about life, its that IT GOES ON. The bad cant last forever.

It's 5:54pm, my day is almost over, I will never ever have this day back. Did I make the most of it? I think most of us just think that today is just another day and there is always tomorrow. But what happens if there isn't a tomorrow? What if today was our very last day, did you live it like you wanted?

Anne Frank said, "I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains." And I think thats the point I'm trying to get to. Let's stop looking at the crappy parts and live in the beauty that still remains.

Standing Still

A couple months ago I wrote a blog about change. How much I disliked it and how I had a hard time dealing with it. At that time, alot of what I was dealing with was the thought of a relationship ending. As it turns out, my feelings were dead on. Less than a week later my relationship ended. The change and differences that I encountered during that time and the month to follow were incredibly intense and at times too much to handled.

I am now having those same feelings of change and things being different. In NO WAY AT ALL am I worried about my relationship ending again. Joe and I are in an amazing, solid relationship and even he has assured me, he's not going anywhere :)

But still, these emotions that are starting to take over me and really stemming from my fear of change. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel like everything around me is changing and I am standing still. My friends are changing, my family is changing, my job/church is constantly changing and I for some reason am frozen in this feeling of never wanting things to change.

I feel like one month again everything was perfect. I was the happiest I had ever been. I'm sure at the time there was at least one thing I could have complained about, but looking back all I can see is the good. I know everything can change in an instant but why does it have to?

It's not like my life right now is miserable by any means. My life is dang near perfect, again i just don't like change and thats what I feel like is happening.
So how do we cope with change when its our least favorite thing?

"Life is about change, sometimes its painful, sometimes its beautiful, but most of the time...its both."

April 25th. Invisible Children.

This Saturday thousands of people will be gathering in the state they are living in for one cause.
To make a statement.
To get attention.
To show their support.
To gain more support.
On April 25th, 2009 the international community will unite to make a statement asking for the release of the abducted children in Uganda being forced to fight in the Lord's Resistance Army under the control of Joseph Kony. Thousands of participants will gather in 100 cities across the
world to symbolically abduct themselves to free the abducted.

A little background:

For 23 years, the government of Uganda and a rebel group called the Lords Resistance Army, led by a man named Joseph Kony, has engaged in Africa’s longest war. In recent years, peace was seemingly within reach, largely due to the Juba Peace Talks that began in July 2006. However, despite a ceasefire signed between the LRA and Ugandan government, efforts toward peace through the Juba Peace Talks were stalled on several occasions by Kony’s refusal to sign the final peace agreement. Kony’s absence at the peace agreement signing on November 29, 2008 proved his promises to be futile and ultimately disabled the peace talks. Furthermore, the ICC has obtained evidence that Kony used the ceasefire during the peace talks to regroup, regain strength and resume child abductions. Joseph Kony is the world’s first individual indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity.
Since September 2008, hostility in the Orientale province in DR Congo and Western Equatoria in
South Sudan has reached a feverish pitch. In apparent desperation and a renewed will to spread
terror to DR Congo, the LRA murdered over six hundred and abducted more than one hundred and sixty children to fight amongst its ranks. More than 104,000 Congolese have been displaced since Christmas in attempts to escape the LRA forces. A civil war, originally contained within Uganda’s borders, has now evolved into a widespread regional crisis.

Invisible Children, in concert with other policy organizations including Resolve Uganda, The Enough Project, Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International, now believes an international effort to apprehend Kony and rescue his child soldiers is the most viable way to end the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world today.

So what can we do about it?
Demanding ACTION. Aim to draw attention to the conflict because drastic times call for drastic measures. So we’re calling on various media outlets and cultural/political leaders (a.k.a. “moguls”) to come to The Rescue. Because if no one sees what is happening to these children, then nothing will happen. Change will never come. Nowadays, seeing is believing. But what if they saw something unbelievable? That’s what we’re getting at.

Your abduction will begin on April 25th at 3pm when you leave your home and meet at a designated “abduction site”. For Phoenix, the abductions site is Tempe Town Lake. Then you will march as a group, on foot, in a single file line holding onto a rope to the event location called the “LRA Camp” while carrying any supplies you will need for the night on your backs. The Phoenix "LRA Camp" is at Hayden Lawn on the ASU campus. Invisible Children will arrange for photographers and videographers to film this symbolic march.

Once you’ve arrived at the LRA Camp, you will set up your “camp” and then wait to be “rescued”. A “successful” rescue requires two things. First, an approved media outlet from your area must show up and cover the event. Second, you and your city must arrange for the attendance of at least one pre-determined cultural or political leader. We are calling this person the “mogul” or “rescuer.” One of the confirmed Phoenix Rescuers is Steve-O from Jackass.

While at the LRA camp, you will write letters to your political representatives, create art/photo projects and seek out media attention in an effort to petition our governments to develop a strategy and support existing efforts to rescue Kony’s child soldiers. For all cities that are successful in getting the media coverage and their Rescuer to come and speak on April 25th, you will stay the night at the LRA camp and make the march back home at dawn on April 26th.

I am personally asking every single one of you to join us on Saturday. Let's make a difference.

For more information please vsit: http://therescue.invisiblechildren.com

Too Late To Apologize?

I officially haven't blogged in a month. I have had the urge multiple times but have never just sat down and did it. So here goes.



This past weekend at Central we had a guest speaker, Tommy Politz, from Dallas Texas come and kick off our new message series called Resonate. The whole series is going to be about relationships. Not just marriage or dating, but all kinds of relationship. I am stoked. I am all about relationships and creating connections with people so to hear a message series about how to do that in a Godly way is totally right up my alley. We started off the series talking about forgiveness. Tommy got up and gave his testimony and showed us a true example of forgiveness. One thing he said was "Forgiveness is not a justice issue, It's a heart issue." Forgiveness has always been a problem with me. For some reason I have a really hard time letting go of things. When someone wrongs me I put a wall up and block them out. I don't know if its a defense mechanism or just my stupid pride getting in the way but its just something I've always struggled with. About 8 months ago I came across a verse that I'm sure I've read a thousand times but it talked about how God will not forgive you if you do not forgive others. And let's be honest, after all I've done in my life I need God's forgiveness. But then it got me thinking. Is it really worth it to hold grudges? To block people out because of one thing? So over these past months I've been really trying to work on forgiveness daily. It takes effort and it takes me knocking down my pride and allowing myself to be vulnerable and honest. Now, I'm not saying I'm an expert forgiver but I am definitely getting better at it.
Tommy ended his message with somewhat of a challenge. He said think of that one person that you have had a hard time forgiving. Someone that hurt you or abandoned you or lied to you, whatever it was, think of that person and begin to pray for them. Honestly and wholeheartedly pray for them.
What struck me was the think of that one person, I really couldn't name one. Which made me extremely happy, thinking how far I've come that I've forgiven all the hurt from my past.
But I began to think, if we asked who that one person was to everyone we knew, how many of them would say my name? Is there someone out there that I have hurt and not asked for forgiveness from? There has to be. I HATE saying sorry and I HATE asking for forgiveness, it means I did something wrong and I hate admitting that I've done something wrong. Again, a pride issue that I need to work on. There was one person I thought of. One person that I know I had never apologized to. I don't know how many people could say my name, but this one person jumped directly into my head. This morning when I had a couple free minutes I got on facebook and swallowed my pride and asked for forgiveness from the person that I had thought of. A year ago, I could have never done that. Now, I'm just excited that I have come far enough to be able to something like that.

So what if we all examined our lives? Could your name be the one that popped into someones head? Is there someone that we need to apologize to? If so, let's do it.

Still Complaining?

Nationally, there are an estimated 3.5 million homeless individuals.

In the U.S.A., the average age of a homeless person is 9 years old.

There is between 10,000 - 14,000 homeless individuals in Maricopa County on any given day.

13% of Maricopa County residents live in poverty - that is nearly 450,000 people.

The number of unemployed persons increased to 12.5 million in February 2009.

Over the past 12 months, the number of unemployed persons has increased by about 5 million.

1.9 million people lost their job in 2008.

Roughly 2.9 million homes were foreclosed in 2008.

884 million people in the world, lack access to safe water supplies, approximately one in eight people.

Every 15 seconds, a child dies from a water-related disease.

854 million people worldwide are undernourished.

There is an estimated 982 million people in developing countries who live on $1 a day or less.






Kind of makes us wonder how big our problems really are, huh?

Being Meagan.

How often do we let our regrets control our lives?

There is a new TV series on SOAPnet call Being Erica. The show is about 32 year old Erica who has nothing but regrets about her past. One day she meets Dr. Tom, a mysterious therapist who takes her back in time to do over those life-defining moments with the foresight and wisdom of seeing how they played out. Erica allows all of those regrets to impact her entire life. She views her life as mediocre because she can't let go of the past. So Dr. Tom allows her to go back in time to those moments that she regrets the most so she can change the outcome to see if that moment was really that big of a deal.

I've only seen two episodes of the show so I can't really give you a good review of it but just watching them today really made me think. Are those moments in our lives that we regret really a big enough deal to still regret them today?

I've lived my life with alot of regret and missed opportunities. Or at least I thought so. Today I sat and looked back at those moments that still make my stomach turn and wondered what would have been different. And would I like the difference?

Over the past 8 months or so I've realized that although I do have some regrets, all of those mistakes have made me the person I am today. All of those experiences-good or bad- turned me into the person that I am right now. And for the first time in my life I actually kinda like the person I am today. Because although I have that past, it's helped me find out that I don't have to have that same future.

I can honestly say I have learned a lesson from every single mistake I have made. Whether it be small or huge. And I also realized that half of the things I've held onto for so long really aren't that big of a deal. I don't want to hold on to those regrets and think of my life as mediocre. I want to live an extraordinary life with opportunities and positivity.

So if I learned a lesson from those mistakes, should I really regret them?

Music Video of the Week

So this week I thought I'd have a little fun and use some friends as this weeks MVotW. David Crowder wrote and originally sang the song "You Are My Joy" which just so happens to be on my list of top 5 favorite songs ever. Although I love David Crowder I like this version better (i might be somewhat biased though :] )

You Are My Joy by the 3rd Format worship band.

Boredom vs. Tiredness

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
Share

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...THIS CAN BE VERY VERY CREEPY

Opening Credits:
-Fame < Infamy: Fall Out Boy

Waking Up:
-Happy: Saving Jane

First Day At School:
-Sober: Pink

Falling In Love:
-We Get On: Kate Nash (CUTE!)

Fight Song:
-All We Know: Paramore

Breaking Up:
-I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me: Fall Out Boy

Prom:
-Pain: Jimmy Eat World

Life:
A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing: This Providence

Mental Breakdown:
-Ring of Fire: Johnny Cash

Driving:
-If It Means Alot To You: A Day To Remember

Flashback:
-The District Sleeps Alone Tonight: The Postal Service

Wedding:
-So Much Love: The Rocket Summer

Birth of Child:
-Feel Good Drag: Anberlin

Final Battle:
-Every Second: A Change of Pace

Death Scene:
-No It Isn't: +44

Funeral Song:
-A Moment Like This: Kelly Clarkson

End Credit:
-Get Naked: Britney Spears

Music Video of the Week

This weeks video comes from the California based band A Current Affair. A Current Affair self released their first EP in 2007 and since then has gained attention and respect from bands such as Hawk Nelson, Thousand Foot Krutch and Dizmas. Their 7 track EP was compared to UnderOath and Saosin. They are currently on tour with Wavorly, Run Kid Run, and Ruth. For more tracks from A Current Affair, check out their myspace.

Hike For The Homelss OFFICIAL

A couple days ago I posted a blog about an opportunity I came across at work called "Hike for the Homeless." After about a week of spreading the word, we finally put a team together! My friend Tara has really helped me along the forefront of this and encouraging people to join as well. At first we talked about making it a small group thing but then we realized if we invited more people we could make a bigger impact!

So here is YOUR official invitation to join team "3F" for a 2 mile scenic hike up the Estrella Mountains in Goodyear Arizona!

850 people attended the Hike for the Homeless in 2008, and raised over $54,000 that went directly to St. Joseph the Worker's program to assist homeless and other disadvantaged individuals secure employment.

Hiker Information:

Each participant contributes a registration fee of $25 ($15 for students) and will receive:
Free park entry (usually $6) for the day
A high-quality T-shirt - guaranteed only if registered by March 2, 2009
A hearty breakfast burrito
98.7 The Peak – music & games
Access to giant playground near the Ramada area
Plenty of shaded picnic areas

3 trail options:
½ mile barrier-free (9:00am)
2 mile moderate hike (9:00am)
6 mile trail for experienced hikers (7:30am)



Teams:
Consider putting together a team this year. Below are some highlights of team participation. Teams of any size are welcome as are individuals! Team awards will include:
Largest team – traveling trophy
Team with the most spirit **<<I KNOW WE CAN TAKE THIS ONE!!
Team that raises the most funds
All teams will appear on St. Joseph the Worker’s website, beginning as soon as they sign up

If this sounds like something you would be interested please check out the official website here : Hike for the Homeless.

So who's with us? Let me know so we can talk about team shirts and carpooling.

Meagan Likes To....

I've been busting my butt at work all day and decided I needed to take a 5 minute break.

I saw this on my friend Tara's blog a couple days ago and thought I'd give it a shot.

Google Game: Go to Google and type in quotation marks your name and then "likes to" (ex. "Steve likes to"). Type in the first ten things that come up and re-post in your own blog.

1. Meagan likes to go to clubs with her sister especially
2. Meagan likes to swing me around until I’m dizzy and she tickles me into hysterics.
3. Meagan likes to run, cook, draw, read and listen to other musicians play.
4. Meagan likes to do fashion faux for the attention.
5. Meagan likes to giggle about that even though she pretends not to.
6. Meagan likes to rock HARD, swing, bounce, etc for long periods of time.
7. Meagan likes to smoke.
8. Meagan likes to jump in my pictures.
9. Meagan likes to listen to music, write, and, of course, weave more baskets.
10. Meagan likes to the crush the ball.

Haha, almost all of those were talking about the actress Meagan Goode. Cool.

Music Video of the Week

This weeks video comes from one of my new favorite bands A Day To Remember. I first heard them in a friend's car and starting falling in love even more. Their latest record titled Homesick was released earlier this month and has been gaining popularity among its fan. Reviews of Homesick have said "ADTR havent lost there touch at all , the songs have strayed away from hate but in turn have gained heartfelt meaning." The band's music has been described as "mixing death metal grunts with the brash melodies of pop-punk," and a cross between "bouncy pop punk and chugging metalcore." The whole record is amazing but my favorite song by far is If It Means A Lot To You which is this week's Music Video of the Week.



(It's actually more like song of the week because there isn't a video for it yet, but you get the picture:])

Hike for the Homeless

I came across this really cool opportunity today and wanted to share.

Saturday, March 7th there is an event called "Hike for the Homeless" which is an opportunity to work to end homelessness. You can put a team together and get sponsors to help support the cause. Or you can hike by yourself. I plan on putting a team together to make it more fun!

Each participant contributes a registration fee of $25 ($15 for students) and will receive:
Free park entry (usually $6) for the day
A high-quality T-shirt
A hearty breakfast burrito
98.7 The Peak – music & games

The hike is at Estrella Mountain Regional Park in Goodyear, AZ, which I have actually hiked multiple times and it has some awesome trails. There are 3 different hiking options:
½ mile barrier-free (9:00am)
2 mile moderate hike (9:00am)
6 mile trail for experienced hikers (7:30am)

I think its a cool opportunity to get some excercise and make a difference in our community at the same time!

All of the information is on the website.

Polyvore

Thanks to my amazing fashion-forward friend Maggie, I have stumbled upon this website called Polyvore. Polyvore is a free, easy-to-use web-based application for mixing and matching images from anywhere on the web. It is also a vibrant community of creative and stylish people.
Polyvore lets you create sets composed of individual images using an easy to use, drag and drop editor. After you have created a set, you can publish and share it with your friends and the Polyvore community. You may have heard of Stylemob which is another sort of fashion community. But in Polyvore you get to create sets so you can see what looks good together. As some of you may know I was a fashion merchandising major for awhile and am absolutely in love with anything fashion related. For awhile I wanted to be a fashion journalist or work for a fashion magazine so this site allows me to have fun putting layouts together.
If fashion is something that interests you I highly recommend checking out Polyvore.


Day Casual - by meagangibson on Polyvore.com

Music Video of the Week

In honor of one of my favorite bands of all time reuniting, this weeks MVotW goes old school with All The Small Things by BLINK 182!!!!! In case you haven't heard the incredible news, Blink182 announed their comeback Sunday night at the Grammy's! Check out the story and announcement here. So to celebrate the return of some good rock music, here you go:

Music Video of the Week

This week's video comes from the new Red Jumpsuit Apparatus record "Lonely Road" being released tomorrow. I LOVED their "Don't You Fake It" record and even saw them in concert a couple years ago on the Take Action tour. "Don't You Fake It" was a great record but after awhile all the songs started sounding alot of alike. From what I've heard off the the new record it's completely different! This will be their sophomore album that came out 3 years after the first.
It sounds good to me, but I'll let you see for yourselves:)

25 Things

This has been floating around facebook for a couple weeks now and I got tagged and decided to give in. Here goes:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I'm completely 100% addicted to diet coke. and I'm not ashamed.
2. I sleep with a stuffed animal. he's a cow, and his name is cow. I can't sleep without him.
3. There is only one person in the whole world that knows this but...i've been writing a book for the past year.
4. I'm a high school small group coach to 7 of the most amazing sophomore girls. my life wouldn't be the same without them.
5. I think music can cure the soul. You can tell alot about me by my favorites.
6. I have a blog. www.meagangibson.blogspot.com. it's nothing too special, but i like it.
7. I miss cheerleading almost every day.
8. I have exercise induced compartmental syndrome in both of my legs. simply put: my calf muscles will explode if I run for too long.
9. My dream job is being a stay at home wife and mom.
10. But i would also love to be a Publicist for a band or athlete.
11. I download music illegally.
12. I've been going to church since I was born and my parents have been on staff at a church since I was 5 but to be honest I really started believing in God in September 2008.
13. I do not EVER want to be without Him again.
14. My college small group has become my best friends. I can not imagine my life without them.
15. I have a shopping problem. Which is now a debt problem.
16. My favorite place in the whole world is where the 17 and the 10 meet and all you can see is downtown Phoenix.
17. I want to move far far away and start a brand new life.
18. But really I just want to run away from the hurt and pain.
19. I used to cut. Ever since I found TWLOHA I haven't.
20. I fantasize way too much about things that will never happen and therefore set myself up for failure with people.
21. I read alot. and by alot I mean ALOT. I would rather read than anything else in the world.
22. I would be lost without my planner. Most people don't know I have one but it's kinda my lifeline.
23. I'm addicted to Soapnet. I watch it every day.
24. I can belch like a man. No, worse than a man. Even with my mouth closed. It's super attractive.
25. “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.” -Roy Croft

Music Video of the Week

A new element I'm adding to my blog is Music Video of the Week or Song of the Week. I love discovering new bands or finding fun or unusual songs so I thought I'd share.

This weeks video is "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry. Katy is most known for her hit single "I Kissed A Girl" and most people stop there. I wasn't a huge fan of that song but i loved her voice. It was so unique and different than most girl singers these days. So I downloaded 2 of her CDs and found out that she is an amazing songwriter as well. She has her upbeat in your face songs such as "Hot N Cold" "Ur So Gay" and of course "I Kissed A Girl" but she also has some great down to earth songs titled "Fingerprints" Simple" and "Long Shot." If you're a girl looking for an album with every type of song and something to listen to in the car with your girlfriends I definitely recommend this record. A few songs I strongly recommend are "Fingerprints" and "Waking Up In Vegas."
I saw Katy Perry at Phooson a little over a month ago and for her performance actually got moved up to 3rd row. It was so cool being that close. The energy was so high and everyone was jumping around singing and screaming and then she grabs an acoustic guitar and the rest of the band stops and she beings to sing a slow song and everyone was mesmerized. I remember I was turned around talking to someone and then I heard her sing and turn around in amazement. And I'm not even exaggerating. She tore the house down with "Thinking of You." Now that the music video is out I had to share. Enjoy:)

Prayer Guide for President Barack Obama

At work I open up like all of Global Outreach's mail and today I opened one from an organization that we support here at Central and inside was A Guide to Prayer for President Barack Obama. I read through it and am totally compelled by it.
Whether we like him or not doesn't matter. He is the President of the United State of America. And for that he deserves respect. So instead of complaining about him or his administration, why not pray for him? I attached the guide so if you want to keep him in your prayers you can pray for these things. I know I will be.


1. Pray for Obama’s protection. We already know that some misguided, racist fanatics in Tennessee plotted to kill Senator Obama during his campaign. Let’s pray that racist hatred is not allowed to spread. Let’s cancel every assassin’s bullet in the name of Jesus. May civility triumph over bigotry.

2. Cover his wife and daughters in prayer. It is not easy to live under constant media scrutiny. Pray for Obama’s wife, Michelle, and their two daughters, Malia and Natasha, as they face invasive cameras, nosy reporters, maniacal fans and dangerous enemies. Obama is not only a politician, but also a husband and a father.

3. Pray that Obama will govern with God’s wisdom. God rewarded Solomon because he asked for wisdom instead of wealth, long life or vengeance on his enemies (see 1 Kings 3:11-12). Pray that Obama will order his priorities like that. Despite Solomon’s tragic character flaws, his legacy was wisdom. We can ask God to give our president the same grace.

4. Ask God to keep our president humble. Many great American leaders became corrupt after they moved to Washington. The fatal attraction of fame, wealth and power proved irresistible. The only thing that will guard a man or woman from this pitfall is humility. May God deliver President Obama from the curse of pride.

5. Pray for wise and righteous advisers to surround him. Godly leaders cannot do their job alone. Even the best leaders have failed because they trusted the wrong people. Pray that Obama will not select his counselors based on party, race, pedigree or political cronyism but on godly character and proven wisdom. Pray also that he will not allow secret traitors into his inner circle.

6. Ask for the spirit of reconciliation. Some segments of our deeply divided society want nothing to do with Obama now that he has won the presidency. Even some Christians will be tempted to harbor resentment and nurse political grudges throughout his term in office. Pray that God will grant forgiveness and healing so that leaders on all political levels can have constructive dialogue.

7. Pray that Obama will adopt pro-life convictions. Many politicians have changed their views on key issues while in office. In the 1800s some leaders who favored slavery later denounced it. In the 1950s some who opposed racial integration later became champions of it. Even though Obama won approval from many voters because he sanctions abortion, God could soften and change his heart.

8. Bind all evil forces assigned to manipulate our president. The specter of Islamic terrorism looms over the United States, and dark forces are ready to infiltrate. Our only hope lies in prayer to the God who is able to expose and outwit the schemes of the wicked. This is truly a time for spiritual warfare, and intercessors must not come off the wall in this hour! Pray that no foreign government, terrorist organization or demonic principality will use Obama as a tool. We must stand strong against the spirit of antichrist that promotes dictatorship, persecution of Christians and hostility toward Israel.

9. Pray that Obama’s door will remain open to the church. The loudest voices of secular culture—from god-haters in Hollywood to atheists in academia—would be happy if religion were removed from public life. Pray that Obama, who claims to have a personal faith in Jesus Christ, will unapologetically welcome Christian leaders into his company and seek their counsel. And pray that false religious leaders (who claim to know Christ but deny His power) will not have his ear.

10. Pray that our nation will enjoy God’s peace and blessing during the Obama administration. The apostle Paul instructed early believers to pray for all in authority “so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity” (1 Tim. 2:2, NASB). God’s will is for America to experience peace and prosperity so that we can continue to export the gospel to the nations. This must happen whether a Democrat or a Republican is in the White House. As we cry out for God’s mercy on our wayward nation, pray that He will allow us to be a light to the world as we finance global missions, feed and heal the world’s poor and share Christ’s love at home and abroad.

(reprinted from Life in the Spirit Ministries. 7spirit.net)

Whirlwind.

I don't know where to start to be honest.

I have so much on my mind and so much on my heart. First and foremost, I need to acknowledge the fact that I am so in love with Jesus Christ right now its incredible. It's such a comforting feelings knowing that my entire life is in good nail-pierced hands.






This past weekend I went up to Williams, Arizona to a camp called Lost Canyon.



I have been there twice before. Once as a student, once as a worker and now as a coach. I can honestly say that going up as a coach was the best experience there. I lead a group of 7 amazing and beautiful 16 year old high school girls and i had the privilege of coaching 6 of them this weekend. It's alot of hard work and a huge time commitment. And sometimes its frustrating and feels like your wasting your time. But this weekend all of that paid off. I got to see the benefits of all of it.
One of my best friends, Ashley, is a coach as well and we ended up in the same cabin(only after a little persuasion of course:]) and we both had 6 sophomore girls so we decided to combine our small group and it was the best decision we made all weekend. Our girls got along so well and encouraged each other through it all. We were like a little family. During small group time the girls just blew me away with how vulnerable and honest they were. But also with just the things they were saying about wanting to follow Christ. Hearing those girls talk about how much they wanted to dedicate and live their lives for God brought goosebumps to my arms and tears to my eyes. NOTHING is more rewarding then hearing someone you've been trying to lead say that they want God in their life.
Another rewarding aspect of the weekend was my time with Ashley. We were close before but this weekend just brought us so much closer. I've had some rough friendships in the past and everyone knows I have a tough time getting along with girls. But Ashley and I are so much alike and just get along so well, its so refreshing. Most of the friends i've had who claim to be christians do not live their lives that way but it was amazing to be able to lead along side of her and know that we both mean exactly what we are saying. Teaching and training those girls together was totally awesome because we got to learn from each other and also experience each other's girls in new ways.
Although it was a high school retreat and I was a coach, I felt like I learned just as much as the students. Jeremy Jernigan, the 3F teaching pastor, was our speaker and even though I hear him every week and know him on a somewhat personal level, I learned more from him this weekend than I ever have before. He has a way of making God feel so real and so alive in your daily life. It's remarkable. Also, the 3F band rocked so hard. And they are all some of my closest friends but they totally brought it. Worship is such a huge connector to God its so cool. If you ask any student what their favorite part of the weekend was I guarantee you most of them will say worship. But besides the production and all of the hype, I can just say that God was so present. If God was visible he would have been standing right in the middle of that camp spreading his arms out to the farthest corners of the camp.
This weekend our main point was trusting God with our lives. This is something I've always struggled with. I'll give him the majority of my life but i'll keep parts to myself and tell him I'll take care of those areas. But lately I've learned its so much easier to just throw it all at him. He knows whats best for me better than I do so why not let him handle it? It used to be such a hard concept for me to grasp but now it seems likes such an easy decision. Just give it to him. That simple. One of the questions in our small group time was; When you encounter a problem how much do you trust God and how much do you trust yourself to handle it? Most of us would answer this question the same. We trust ourselves. When we come across a problem we just automatically go into "me-mode" instead of stopping in our tracks and asking God for help. One thing I'm really happy about is the fact that I have been going to God right way lately. When I sense a problem arising or if I'm hurting or upset the first thing I do is drop to my knees and ask God to help me take care of it. After I do that a sense of calmness and stability hits and I know God's right there with me. I cant describe it but its such a cool feeling.
This weekend had its hard times but I think its exactly what I needed. Pretty much every aspect of my life was affected and there were certain aspects that needed to be affected. I got some confirmation and alot of hope. But all in all, this weekend was one of the best weekends of my life and I was nowhere near ready to come back to reality.

Reality comes back with its stresses and worries. Like I said, I have a million things on my mind and heart right now. I need to make some HUGE decisions really fast and i feel like I can't win any way. Alot of things are going to be compromised and people are going to be disappointed but like a good friend told me today if I make decisions based on other people's reactions I may not be doing the right thing. I've been told multiple times today to just picture the future and see whats really going to matter in the long run. There are really only two things I can picture in my future for sure and one is God, the other is a person. Everything else is up in the air and I don't know anything for sure. I'm feeling completely overwhelmed and overcommitted. I'm only 19 years old and I feel like I'm 46 and having to make huge life changing decisions. Life can be so hard and confusing sometimes. But I totally believe that everything happens for a reason. And although we may not like it at the time, God's plan will always prevail over ours. Sometimes he just wants us to trust him, which is exactly what I plan on doing with all these big decisions. I'm not ready to talk about what going on quite yet, but when the time is right I will reveal what God and I are working on in my life. Let's just say, I'm making these decisions for me, not for anyone else. I apologize in advance for letting anyone down or making a decision that you don't agree with but I committed my life to Christ so I will go where He leads me.

Worship Pastor=Get Chicks.

About 3 minutes ago, my friend Richard who is also the 3F resident here at Central showed me this video and I could not keep it to myself. I just had to share.

Venting.

I have really bad luck with parking and driving. Pretty much anything involving a car, I'm screwed. I've become a much better driver lately but thats after paying over $500 in speeding tickets. I have also paid probably near $200 in parking tickets as well.

Anyways, I'm trying to register for one more class at MCC the other day and it says I can't because I have a hold on my account. So I call financial aid today to try and figure out what the heck is going on and they say my check came in and I have no outstanding fees. The very nice girl transfered me to cashier services to see if they can figure it out and that lady tells me I have a $110 unpaid parking ticket. WHAT?!?!? So I get transferred to Public Safety because I had no knowledge of any of this until she told me. And first of all the Public Safety girl was SO RUDE. That bothers me because I hadn't even done anything to her..yet. So she tells me that I got a ticket for parking in a teachers parking spot. Which first of all is crap cause why would I do that? Like really? I know better than to do that. And so I ask her how I got the ticket- like in the mail or online or what and she said they put the tickets on the windshield. Ok- lets think about this. If you just put a ticket on someone's windshield how the heck do you make sure they got it? It could blow away or someone could take it off. It's a dumb idea. So I ask the girl if they send it any other way and she says that "after a long time" they mail it. "After a long time"?????? ok well now I'm racking up late fees on a ticket I didn't even know I had. I kinda feel bad cause i probably sounded like a total brat but I was so ticked. What a ridiculous system. I told her I wasn't paying it and asked to speak to a supervisor and she gave me the number to the Appeals supervisor but he wouldn't be back in til tuesday- and thats when classes start so how am I supposed to register for another class when he's gone until the day that classes start.

I hate MCC right now. I needed to vent cause this is absolutely RIDICULOUS.
UH.

Fearless.

So I'm really not a fan of Taylor Swift but I have to give the girl props. She is an amazing songwriter. For an 18 year old, she writes exactly what every girl at that age is feeling. Like I said, I'm not really a fan of hers but I ended up downloading her new CD Fearless and was blown away. I've heard so many girls say how her songs are like the soundtrack to their lives and I just laughed and thought it was pathetic. But now that I've listened to it, I respect her so much more because she is so talented at her age. And obviously she's doing something right if she's as big of a success as she is.
Her first self-titled album was mediocre. I remember hearing an interview with her about it and she said it was all written from her journals and personal experience. I have respect anyone who can share their personal life with the world surpassing their fear of rejection. Songs such as "Teardrops On My Guitar" she talks about a guy named Drew who was an actual crush she had in high school. Taylor says that you have to be careful if your in her life because she will use it as a song and use your name. I think that takes guts. Another song I was just told about was "Forever and Always" off of her new record which she wrote about her break up with Joe Jonas. (which is really the reason why I don't like her because joe jonas is my future boyfriend. haha.)
Anyways, her new record has a song for every girl out there. There are love songs, break up songs, sad songs, happy songs. It's like a rollercoaster of emotions put to music. Which I totally like, because I believe music can cure the soul. Music says the things we can not, so therefor I thank Taylor for saying the things I can't.
One of my favorite songs off of her new CD is "The Way I Loved You" I think its very well written and its a great song for a girl her age right now.

Rain, Rain, Go Away.

This week I've done alot of listening. Trust me, I've done my share of talking but I've really just tried to listen to other people, whether its for advice or just something that they have to say. It's actually really been beneficial. Its crazy how sometimes God will just put people in your life during a specific time and will just give someone the words you need to hear.

I've had some really good conversations with people I don't even normally interact with. It's kinda fun just getting to know someone or just having a total random conversation with them.
I feel like almost every conversation I've had this week has been relating to where i'm at in life right now. I've had so many signs jump out at me, proving to me that I'm going to be ok.

Some examples:

• For my bible study we are reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I have not been a huge fan of the book thus far, but the chapter we were on for tonight hit me directly in the face. The chapter talked about how God wants to be intimate with us. How we try and fill that intimacy void with guys because they are tangible. But God wants to be that for us. He wants to fill us with those feelings of excitement and awe. We don't need to have a man in our life to feel beautiful and loved because God thinks about us like that every single day.

-WOW. That is pretty much exactly what I'm going through. It was just really comforting to know that now that I am single again, that doesn't mean I dont have someone that thinks I am worth it.

• I man that I work with and I had another conversation about guys. He told me there is only 3 things every girl needs to know about men. 1.MEN 2.ARE 3. PIGS.
• In another conversation I was having with a guy I work with I asked him why guys were jerks and he said "because its easy." It was that simple. He said that its just so much easier for guys to be jerks and hurt girls because it stops them from confronting their own emotions. He said guys are just pansies and can't express their real feelings.

-Ok, here's my question: If guys know these things (that they are idiotic pigs) why don't they change? Why dont they give a little effort to being different. They all say they don't want to be like every other guy but in the end they are. Why don't they care enough to try and change?

• Someone else who I don't normally have meaningful conversations just went through a similar situation as I am in. We actually sat and had a good heart to heart about life and love and how the latter affects the first. I learned so much from this conversation and from the person. She really opened my eyes and made me realized that it's only life.
  
• I have had many people just send me random notes or cards with really encouraging messages even if they don't know about anything I'm going through.
  
• God has been jumping out at me through scripture all week as well. Every time I read something it can apply to something i'm going through right now. God is so cool when he does that.
• I've had alot of prayer this week too. For some reason I've had alot of people praying for me which is so encouraging. I believe that prayer can move mountains. Prayer is the most powerful thing we can do. Even in my staff meeting today I was specifically prayed for and lifted up. It feels so good to have people that really care about me and whats going on in my life.

I've just had a really bittersweet week. I've been braking and hurting on the inside but everyday I just feel closer and closer to God and to the people around me.

I guess you can't have the rainbow without the rain.

Tragedy.

Get This Quote - Find more at TVLoop

Favorite Songs of the Week,

Music is pretty much therapy for me. I can make any song relate to any situation in my life. Instead of posting blogs about each specific one that is basically describing my life right now I have decided to compile a list. Maybe someone else who is going through a similar feeling can find some healing.

• "I Don't Believe You" -Pink
• "It's All Your Fault" -Pink
• "Forever & Always" -Taylor Swift
• "White Horse" -Taylor Swift
• "I Get It" -Kate Voegele
  
• "Gives You Hell" -All American Rejects
• "Ready Aim Misfire" -New Years Day
• "That's What You Get" -Paramore
• "If I Can't Have You" -Jonas Brothers
• "Goodbye" -Miley Cyrus
• "Broken" -Secondhand Serenade
• "Different" -Acceptance
• "Over You" -Acceptance
• "Breaking" -Anberlin
• "If I Were A Boy" -Beyonce
• "It's Not Over" -Daughtry
• "Get Back" -Demi Lovato
• "All At Once" -The Fray
• "Men and Mascara" -Julie Roberts
• "Stupid Boy" -Keith Urban
• "All We'd Ever Need" -Lady Antebellum
• "Sorry" -Marie Mena
• "All Over You" -The Spill Canvas
• "Liar" -Taking Back Sunday
  
• "Make Damn Sure" -Taking Back Sunday
• "Liar-Liar" -The Used

Just Don't Stand There.

I don't mind it
I don't mind at all
It's like you're the swing set
And I'm the kid that falls
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

I don't mind it
I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams
When you can't wake up
It looks like you've given up
You've had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You'll come around
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don't stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don't mind at all

It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right,
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

-"I don't believe you" Pink

And It's EverythingThey Say It Is.

Eventually.

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
-The Holiday