Sunday, May 17, 2009

Standing Still

A couple months ago I wrote a blog about change. How much I disliked it and how I had a hard time dealing with it. At that time, alot of what I was dealing with was the thought of a relationship ending. As it turns out, my feelings were dead on. Less than a week later my relationship ended. The change and differences that I encountered during that time and the month to follow were incredibly intense and at times too much to handled.

I am now having those same feelings of change and things being different. In NO WAY AT ALL am I worried about my relationship ending again. Joe and I are in an amazing, solid relationship and even he has assured me, he's not going anywhere :)

But still, these emotions that are starting to take over me and really stemming from my fear of change. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel like everything around me is changing and I am standing still. My friends are changing, my family is changing, my job/church is constantly changing and I for some reason am frozen in this feeling of never wanting things to change.

I feel like one month again everything was perfect. I was the happiest I had ever been. I'm sure at the time there was at least one thing I could have complained about, but looking back all I can see is the good. I know everything can change in an instant but why does it have to?

It's not like my life right now is miserable by any means. My life is dang near perfect, again i just don't like change and thats what I feel like is happening.
So how do we cope with change when its our least favorite thing?

"Life is about change, sometimes its painful, sometimes its beautiful, but most of the time...its both."