Friday, December 12, 2008

You First.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. [Philippians 2:3]

I learned a lesson today. I don't know if I have ever had a day like today before. Where I can honestly look back on this exact day and say I learned that lesson that day. But i think I will always remember today.

I realized I am a selfish person. Completely and utterly selfish. I think about myself over anyone else. I don't take into account their feelings or what they are going through. I try and make it sound like all I care about is them but I really just look out for myself and my wishes.

I also realized what its like to put someone else before myself. In all of my relationships in life, friends, family, boyfriends, I have ALWAYS put myself first. Today I realized I don't want to do that. God tells us to put others before ourselves but I guess I never truly have.

Today someone put me first. They chose me over their own want and desire. I have never ever felt that before. It's different when its your parents. But when its someone that doesn't have to love you but they chose to love you its a whole another story.

This action alone made me realize I am a stupid, selfish person. I don't want to be that anymore. I want to put the people that I care about before myself. I need to think about others and their feelings and their wants before mine. I can suck it up and get over it but its the mere fact that I have decided that they mean more to me than I mean to myself.

In the Sex and the City movie Samantha breaks up with her boyfriend and says "I love you, but I love me more." It's hillarious in the movie, but I NEVER want to be like that in real life. And when you find that person that makes you want to put your own desires behind theirs its worth it. When you find someone that makes you want to be a better person its such an eye opener.

I definitely had my eyes opened today. I need to work on this.