After having some time to think, I've decided I'm ready to let it out. Last night I had the biggest rush of emotions in my life. I've never gone from that upset to that happy to that frustrated to that grateful that fast. Within 5 hours I think I experienced every emotion possible.
I'm going to write 3 separate blogs going through each emotion. Here's the first:
This is probably going to piss some people off, cause some controversy or maybe even be used in a sermon, but i'm ok with that. I am far enough removed now that I could honestly care less if these feelings or my words get to certain people and they feel offended.
Alot of you may know about a certain situation I went through at a church about a year and a half ago. Still thinking back on it, I have never felt more betrayed, hurt, used, or stabbed in the back. I never understood how someone who is supposed to be leading a church and a group of people could do so much damage to a specific family out of pure dislike. I still don't understand how they could ever have justified their actions by their position of leadership. This person to this day still disgusts me. I don't know if I have ever had such harsh feelings for anyone else in my entire life. These events were so heart shattering that I began to question my faith and left church altogether.
There is so much I could say about this individual but I'm trying not to stoop to their level. Because unlike this person I don't talk about their personal life and spread rumors and take other people's words for truth when I really have no idea.
These things were not done just to me. This person attacked my whole family. That is something I am just not ok with. Now, I'm not saying my family is perfect, we definitely are not, but I will say that my parents live their lives above reproach. My parents are 2 of the strongest Christians I know and try every single day to live their lives to honor God. And that is something they have instilled in us kids. Although we slip up, we always find our way back. So when someone accuses my parents of doing something that is complete garbage I find it disgusting. Just because your "friend" told you this does not mean its true. If you are leading a church, you need to do as the bible says and go directly to the source. I put "friend" in quotations because i find it quite ironic where this person is now.
I can't say this is all bad. Because the greatest thing to ever happen to me came from all of this. Because my parents are people of God, they turned to him in this and found where God wanted them to be. Through all this, my parents made the decision to leave that place. They stepped out and stepped into a new place I like to call Home.
Out of all of the yuck and hurt, my family found Central Christian Church of the East Valley. I honestly cannot express my gratitude for this place. It restored my faith and my very fast diminishing relationship with Christ. I have never been more proud to be a member of any church. I have never felt God more present or more the focus any other place. At Central it's not about popularity, its about meeting Jesus. It's not a place where we focus on the staff or the rules or what people say, we focus on the people and their relationship with God. The leadership and staff truly live God-honoring lives. They use the bible as a teaching tool rather than a way to enforce rules or call people out on their sins.
All I have to say is Thank You. Thank you to that place and those people that have tried to break my entire family down over the past 2 years. We aren't even there anymore and you are still talking about us. Now that every member of my family is gone, I hope you are happy. Because I know we are. And you're latest decision was really more of a blessing, because now they can get out of that place where they were not being blessed and move on with their lives which are going to be so much better without you in them.