Fearless.

So I'm really not a fan of Taylor Swift but I have to give the girl props. She is an amazing songwriter. For an 18 year old, she writes exactly what every girl at that age is feeling. Like I said, I'm not really a fan of hers but I ended up downloading her new CD Fearless and was blown away. I've heard so many girls say how her songs are like the soundtrack to their lives and I just laughed and thought it was pathetic. But now that I've listened to it, I respect her so much more because she is so talented at her age. And obviously she's doing something right if she's as big of a success as she is.
Her first self-titled album was mediocre. I remember hearing an interview with her about it and she said it was all written from her journals and personal experience. I have respect anyone who can share their personal life with the world surpassing their fear of rejection. Songs such as "Teardrops On My Guitar" she talks about a guy named Drew who was an actual crush she had in high school. Taylor says that you have to be careful if your in her life because she will use it as a song and use your name. I think that takes guts. Another song I was just told about was "Forever and Always" off of her new record which she wrote about her break up with Joe Jonas. (which is really the reason why I don't like her because joe jonas is my future boyfriend. haha.)
Anyways, her new record has a song for every girl out there. There are love songs, break up songs, sad songs, happy songs. It's like a rollercoaster of emotions put to music. Which I totally like, because I believe music can cure the soul. Music says the things we can not, so therefor I thank Taylor for saying the things I can't.
One of my favorite songs off of her new CD is "The Way I Loved You" I think its very well written and its a great song for a girl her age right now.

Rain, Rain, Go Away.

This week I've done alot of listening. Trust me, I've done my share of talking but I've really just tried to listen to other people, whether its for advice or just something that they have to say. It's actually really been beneficial. Its crazy how sometimes God will just put people in your life during a specific time and will just give someone the words you need to hear.

I've had some really good conversations with people I don't even normally interact with. It's kinda fun just getting to know someone or just having a total random conversation with them.
I feel like almost every conversation I've had this week has been relating to where i'm at in life right now. I've had so many signs jump out at me, proving to me that I'm going to be ok.

Some examples:

• For my bible study we are reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I have not been a huge fan of the book thus far, but the chapter we were on for tonight hit me directly in the face. The chapter talked about how God wants to be intimate with us. How we try and fill that intimacy void with guys because they are tangible. But God wants to be that for us. He wants to fill us with those feelings of excitement and awe. We don't need to have a man in our life to feel beautiful and loved because God thinks about us like that every single day.

-WOW. That is pretty much exactly what I'm going through. It was just really comforting to know that now that I am single again, that doesn't mean I dont have someone that thinks I am worth it.

• I man that I work with and I had another conversation about guys. He told me there is only 3 things every girl needs to know about men. 1.MEN 2.ARE 3. PIGS.
• In another conversation I was having with a guy I work with I asked him why guys were jerks and he said "because its easy." It was that simple. He said that its just so much easier for guys to be jerks and hurt girls because it stops them from confronting their own emotions. He said guys are just pansies and can't express their real feelings.

-Ok, here's my question: If guys know these things (that they are idiotic pigs) why don't they change? Why dont they give a little effort to being different. They all say they don't want to be like every other guy but in the end they are. Why don't they care enough to try and change?

• Someone else who I don't normally have meaningful conversations just went through a similar situation as I am in. We actually sat and had a good heart to heart about life and love and how the latter affects the first. I learned so much from this conversation and from the person. She really opened my eyes and made me realized that it's only life.
  
• I have had many people just send me random notes or cards with really encouraging messages even if they don't know about anything I'm going through.
  
• God has been jumping out at me through scripture all week as well. Every time I read something it can apply to something i'm going through right now. God is so cool when he does that.
• I've had alot of prayer this week too. For some reason I've had alot of people praying for me which is so encouraging. I believe that prayer can move mountains. Prayer is the most powerful thing we can do. Even in my staff meeting today I was specifically prayed for and lifted up. It feels so good to have people that really care about me and whats going on in my life.

I've just had a really bittersweet week. I've been braking and hurting on the inside but everyday I just feel closer and closer to God and to the people around me.

I guess you can't have the rainbow without the rain.

Tragedy.

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Favorite Songs of the Week,

Music is pretty much therapy for me. I can make any song relate to any situation in my life. Instead of posting blogs about each specific one that is basically describing my life right now I have decided to compile a list. Maybe someone else who is going through a similar feeling can find some healing.

• "I Don't Believe You" -Pink
• "It's All Your Fault" -Pink
• "Forever & Always" -Taylor Swift
• "White Horse" -Taylor Swift
• "I Get It" -Kate Voegele
  
• "Gives You Hell" -All American Rejects
• "Ready Aim Misfire" -New Years Day
• "That's What You Get" -Paramore
• "If I Can't Have You" -Jonas Brothers
• "Goodbye" -Miley Cyrus
• "Broken" -Secondhand Serenade
• "Different" -Acceptance
• "Over You" -Acceptance
• "Breaking" -Anberlin
• "If I Were A Boy" -Beyonce
• "It's Not Over" -Daughtry
• "Get Back" -Demi Lovato
• "All At Once" -The Fray
• "Men and Mascara" -Julie Roberts
• "Stupid Boy" -Keith Urban
• "All We'd Ever Need" -Lady Antebellum
• "Sorry" -Marie Mena
• "All Over You" -The Spill Canvas
• "Liar" -Taking Back Sunday
  
• "Make Damn Sure" -Taking Back Sunday
• "Liar-Liar" -The Used

Just Don't Stand There.

I don't mind it
I don't mind at all
It's like you're the swing set
And I'm the kid that falls
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

I don't mind it
I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams
When you can't wake up
It looks like you've given up
You've had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You'll come around
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don't stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don't mind at all

It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right,
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

-"I don't believe you" Pink

And It's EverythingThey Say It Is.

Eventually.

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
-The Holiday